What is a mentor?

[Tammy Borowiecki]

Mentorship is often thought of as a formal relationship but it doesn’t need to be. You can have a mentor that may not even know they are your mentor.

The traditional idea of a mentor is a one-way relationship. The mentor gives and the mentee takes. They exist for you to extract value from. Many mentors shy away from this type of relationship as it ends up as one-sided, and frankly, just too much responsibility. They don’t want to get tied with someone that is going to be needy.

One option to overcome this is where someone has the expertise you need, you can set up a formal mentor relationship. If you want to connect with them to get their expertise, you should acknowledge that their time is valuable. You want to know what they know; you should pay for their time. We do this when we are looking for a business advisor or getting financial advice, why not for a mentor?

There is another type of mentor. This is based on a genuine relationship that is not one-sided. Either a genuine friendship or there is a friend element but they are good in one area and you are good in another area. You bring something to them and they bring something for you. This can be a different area of expertise but sometimes what you offer can simply be that you are someone interesting or enjoyable to be around. You likely wouldn’t call these individuals mentors but they bring the value that you would get from a mentor relationship.

The best way to reach out to someone is in an authentic way. Being helpful at an event, solving a problem for them, and being a person with whom they want to connect.

How do you view the mentor/mentee relationship?

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